Speakers push the air       
Written by Administrator    
Wednesday, 13 February 2008 13:20 
HO HO HO!

Like a damp smelling Aunt, Speakers has a tendancy to go quiet for weeks on end… only to roll up the drive as soon as the drink cabinet lock takes its first festive turn. So here we are motherfuckers, and we're brandishing a bottle of Aldi's finest brandy! In the next few days we'll be showering you with gifts, including an exclusive interview with Warp golden boy Jackson, funny-Scot King Creosote and all manner of mulled-reviews. Have a good 'un people!

Fix Up, Read Sharp!

HOT & TASTY!

Living as we do in a BREAKING NEWS culture which sees a bit of frost in November as headline worthy material, here at Speakers we think it�s our civic duty to suggest ways in which to keep nice and warm over the coming nights. Rather than neck half a bottle of Benylin Original, may we cordially invite (nay; order) you get down to c90 this Saturday (December 2nd) where you�ll be kept proper toasty by Grime maestro Jammer and Modeselektor producer and DJ extraordinaire Shadetek. Held in the velvet lined casket that is upstairs at Sharkey's Bar, 11-19 Regent Street, Sheffield S1 4DA (MAP) there�s no good reason for you not to be there. None. At all. It's well limited so get your tickets in advance here. You'd have to be some dumb shade of fuck not to go!

Is that radiator on…?

THE IRREPRESSIBLES LIVE!

Lucky lucky, you�re so lucky� why? Because the soopa-doopa smashing great Irrepressibles are playing this week down at Bethnal Green Workings Men Club (MAP) where for just �3 you�ll be privy to some of the most gorgeous music available in the world right now. Guaranteed! In addition to The Irrepressibles there will also be performances from Noblesse Oblige, Organ Morgan, speaker and effects, Kitten (of Glamourama), Xavior (of Hanky Panky) and the Bees Knees. Phew. As if that weren�t enough there will be some video presentations, booze and lots of beautiful people. So don�t be a tart; get gone!

To recap; November 24th, Bethnal Green Working Club, 3 quid. Get clicky here for more info; Of Naked Design. Done!

FREE AND EASY

In addition to causing gross social inequalities and systematically stripping the World of all useful resources, capitalism also turns us all into gibbering fools who will happily sacrifice our souls (and entire personal profile) in order to bag a freebie. It is therefore with some pleasure that in conjunction with the superlative Low Life Records we can offer you seven bonza Brit-Hop gems… gratis; no strings attatched. Get yonself over here and enjoy a selection of prime cuts from the likes of Jehst, Skinnyman, Rodney P and Braintax, all in gleaming mp3 format.

God, we're good to you!

SHE'S CRAFTY

As well as being one half of the excellent Psapp, beautiful Galia Durant also hosts a monthly night down at Nottting Hill Arts Club. Yet whilst most club nights are a confused mess of sticky floors, over zealous drink prices and tinnitus inducing sound systems, Craft Night is a whole different affair! In addition to a slew of musical goodness (Piney Gir and her Samplebox Confessional, Ninki V, Theremin Princess, Wired Women DJs) you will also be provided with a craft kit with which to construct your very own bead person! No one leaves alone… As if all that weren't enough, Galia's Dad will also be dropping by to write and deliver a hip-hop ode, whilst Bleep will be on hand to preview an animated presentation featuring creatures from the last event. And the best bit? It only costs 5 bone…

To recap; Nottting Hill Arts Club, Monday 7th November 7pm-1am. Get gone!

BONFIRE NIGHT

Remember remember the 5th of November… It's great fun; getting brained by kids firing rockets whilst you try and fill your car up at Tesco. If it's all got a bit too much and you're within banging distance of Sheffield may we cordially invite you to c90 this Saturday where the absolute don, DJ Rupture, is spinning some plates. It's well limited so get your tickets in advance here. You'd have to be some dumb shade of fuck not to go!

Still here…?

LEAF IS 10

The lovely Leaf label is celebrating it's 10th birthday in October and has decided that a party shall be thrown and (wait for it…) you're invited! Hoorah! Dotted about the smoke at the tail end of October, Leaf have drawn on some of their most prized possesions to entertain you lucky cocks; Caribou, Four Tet, Efterklang, Animal Collective, Murcof, Galia Durant and a happy-clappy supporting cast of millions. If you want to know more then stick your mouse here and have a snoop about.

In a bit people!

JOHN PEEL DAY

Whilst it's bloody easy to become hyperbolic when discussing everyone's dream Uncle, there is little modern music that John Peel can't be somehow linked back to. It is with this in mind that we implore you to mark the 1st Anniversary of the great man's last radio show in whatever way you deem fit; playing a hardcore gabba 12" at the wrong speed say, or listening to Radio 1's luke-warm tribute night. Why not just play loads of his shows back to back?! That'd be far preferable than letting Colin Murray anywhere near his heritage… We miss you Peely. We really do.

WE LOVE C90

Right, first things first; If you haven't realised the staggering genius of VEX'D yet, we suggest you move to Brighton and start listening to Skint. Alright? If on the other hand you know exactly what side your aural bread is buttered on, then may we make a little suggestion in yon shell-like? As long as you're within driving distance (Fife included) of Sheffield you MUST GO to C90's fantastic night, where Planet �'s finest are being joined by the gloriously spastic Ceephax Acid Crew. This all kicks off on Saturday (yes, this Saturday!) and will be a billion times better than a night down Kingdom… You still here?! Get gone!

For more info check out our Nights section.

MADE IN SHEFFIELD

Ever since the police came round and filched our TV, here at Speakers we don�t get much chance to watch anything other than Neighbours down the local Dixons in lunch hour. Yet even with this seemingly unassailable barrier to DVD heaven, we�ve still managed to take a peek at a wonderful new release on Plexifilm. Chronicling the emergence of an electro marinated post-punk scene in 1970�s/1980�s South Yorkshire, Made In Sheffield traces the history of bands such as ABC, Cabaret Voltaire, Human League and Heaven 17 and their influences on modern music. Given Sheffield�s current descent into purple-lit gentrification, this film is both a stunning historical document (featuring extensive interviews with the mighty John Peel) and a warning that fancy lit vodka bars do not constitute an interesting culture. Buy it here.

BROADCAST LIVE

On a scale of 1-10, how much do you trust us? If it's anywhere beyond the 2 mark then take heed; Broadcast are out on a UK tour and you need to see them. Coming off the back of their chokingly great Tender Buttons LP, the newely svelte two-piece are casting an icy spell over the following venues:

Mon 26th Sept Glasgow, ABC
Tue 27th Sept Manchester, Night and Day
Wed 28th Sept London, Koko
Thu 29th Sept Brighton, Ocean Rooms
Fri 30th Sept Nottingham, The Social

For more information get yon self clicky… Be there, or you're a twat. FACT!

THE IRREPRESSIBLES LIVE

It's not a big secret, but here at Speakers we properly adore The Irrepressibles. In fact we love them that much we've taken to following them around and snapping pictures of them on our phones; they love it! It is to this end that we've discovered they are putting on a couple of exclusive London shows… and we know how to get in. The first is part of the oh-so-fancy London Fashion week and is being hosted by the discerning folk at Flux Magazine. Whilst it's guest-list only, we know that you lot are creative; so get busy. For those who aren't blessed with the gift of the gab, the night after (22nd Sept) their wonderful label Of Naked Design is putting on a FREE show and we're all invited. Held at The Black Box Theatre, D1, Diorama Arts (Map) the night has a 'medieval forest banquet' theme. How cool is that?! See you there; hey nonny-nonny Mother-Fucker!

For more info check out our Nights section.

DANCING QUEEN

Although we are but friends via the lonely medium of wires 'n' stuff, we nonetheless feel that a close affinity exists between our screen and yours. Fancy a pint…? No?! How very dare you! Even at the rough end of your calous shuns, we still think you look mucho clever on the dancefloor and have spent the past week bragging to our good friends at Boomkat how Speaker people are the best dancers IN THE WORLD!

Typically they've gone and called our bluff and are now holding a dancing comp round their gaff. If you care at all for our relationship you'll get out your camera, film youself doing the Highland Jig then pop it on an email and tell them we sent you! If you're really good we might just bung you something. NOW DANCE SUCKA!

VERTICAL BATTLE

What do you get if you mix 8 of the best international BMX riders with 8 world class skateboarders, performing their most impressive tricks on Europe�s largest vert ramp? The answer is Red Bull Vertical Battle - a vert skate/BMX event that�s taking place in Old Market Square, Nottingham on Saturday 30th July 2005.

In partnership with Kerrang, Red Bull Vertical Battle is a free event hosted by Ed Leigh, along with commentary from the distinctive voice of Paul �Grotbags� Roberts - all happening against a backdrop of live music. Find out more.

MUSO FREENESS!

Random Recordings, a new recording studio, has opened up in Notts. We're told that it "promises top quality results at rock bottom prices". Don't think it's budget crap, though. We've heard their output, and it blisters with goodness: Random is owned by Nottingham producer extraordinaire Guy Elderfield and the boys behind Earth the Californian Love Dream, and has already been used by local heroes Amusement Parks on Fire and Punish the Atom. We're touching ourselves, and we don't even like music.

They've been good enough to offer a day's recording for just �50 (plus engineer) to anyone receiving this mailout - a saving of �25. Bargain! If you want your sh*tty student band to actually sound good for once, give them a call               07814 148427        or email them. Tell 'em we sent you to spare your wallets.

The studio is also offering a FREE day's recording to anyone able to answer a simple question: how many metres of cabling are there in Random? To make it even easier for you retards, the answer's on their website. When you've worked it out, email them your answer. No excuses for getting that one wrong, eh? Bet some of you still do, though…

TWO FINGERS UP AT BONO

Another slice of articlage from the internet today, this time featuring lead singers and misplaced political soap-boxing. Aren't they knobs? In the words of Jeremy Clarkson; sadly, yes.

HIGH BROW COLDPLAY BAITING AHOY!

It'd be well worth you all reading this article on shitbox modern rock lyrics, because i) it pillories Chris Martin for talking wank, and ii) it mentions the Arctic Monkeys, who we like. Oh, and it's naturally very well written, yes? Because it wasn't done by us, no doubt. Curse you, god, for making us this way!

I DON'T WANT A HOLIDAY IN THE SUN

You're here for maximum freeness in the form of an Electric Souls coolbox and frisbee, and copies of the first two Electric Soul compilations (plus an Electric Soul Summer Sessions album), aren't you? Great! Just answer this bullshit question, after razzing over to the Unabombers website:

How many volts would us Brits run through an electric chair if it were connected to the mains?

That's assuming, of course, that we still carried out the barbaric practice of executing criminals. Ethics aside, email your answer to us, and the first one of you reprobates to hit us up will win.

YOUR PASSPORT TO FAME, FORTUNE, AND STUFF

Have you flown through the air with the greatest of ease, like a daring young man on a flying trapeeze, in order to snag a brace of tickets to the Metal Hammer Golden Gods after show party, which also handily doubles as the Metal Mania Stripped album launch party? Oh, you have! How delightful! In that case, solve this tricky little poser, and you might get to go:

Bruce Dickinson, off of Iron Maiden fame, has a commercial pilot's licence, allowing him to fly us all to the hills in the event of any trouble. True, or false!?!

Think you know? Email us, then. Make sure you can get to the Marquee Club, on Leicester Square in that London, for 10pm - 2am on Monday 13th June, though, or it'll be an utter waste of time for all of us, won't it?

The other freeness on offer this tme round included, and was limited to, records from both Grande Cobra and The Zapatistas. Click on their names to get in touch about nabbing some shiny plastic music love.

DANCE TO THE RADIO

Bam, like muggers hitting your mum, we bring you late breaking news of high class shenanigins at Nottingham's very own Fabric of the North, Stealth. Tonight (which is Thursday 26th May, fact fans) sees Club NME play host to a plethora of top bands. They are: The Sweet Chap, our boys The Zapatistas (click for a review of their latest recordings, courtesy of ezine Damn Pest), and Lee Rickers and the Recovery. It's �4 in, or �2 if you've got a token from the NME, and things kick off at 10pm. Why not go down and rock the fuck out?

GET ON YOUR BIKES AND RIDE!

Oiga, liggers. This time round, we're dishing out two tickets to DJ Format's upcoming show at King Tut's in Glasgow, on May 5th. To claim this brace of beauties, you'd better respond via email to this question:

Notorious song ruiner Chali 2na off of J5 features on Format's new album. But which British MC did he do a chronic disservice on otherwise banging joint, 'Join the Dots'? Eh? EH?

Get blagging…

YOU BLAGGING BASTARDS

Oi oi! We've got three copies of the new Happy Mondays greatest hits compilation to dish out to your sorry asses, and for to get one, all you need to do is email us with the answer to a trivial question, and your address so we can get it to you. Naked photos optional… The question be:

Where did the Mondays go to smoke so much crack they went blind when they really should been recording their last album?

You know…

NOW BOOKING…

The entertainingly named Fun Raisin takes place at the Scala in that London on Monday 9th May. We mention this partly because it's got a funny name, but mainly because it's got a fucking cock-on line up of artists, including (but not limited to) Hood, Hot Chip, Richard X and Super Furry Animals vs Mogwai in a vicious and good natured 1s and 2s showdown. The whole shebang is brought to you by Lex Records, and we heartily recommend that you look at this (if only for the picture of a jovial raisin) and then snag your ticket. Word

ROBOT LOVE

So, you want to go to one of Autechre amazing live shows for free, do you? Well, that's lucky: thanks to Warp Records, we have a brace of tickets to chuck your way… The shows they're valid for are:

15th April: Arts School, Glasgow
16th April: Zoo, Manchester
17th April: Stealth, Nottingham

If you can make it to one of those, and decide you actually want to leave your foetid nest, then email us with the name of the fucking aggravating robot turd from Buck Rogers that spent all it's screen time making stupid noises. Oh, and the show you'd like to go see, too…

LEAVE YOUR GODDAM HOUSE

Good gigs coming up soon… Friday 11th March sees Notts lads Punish the Atom heading off to the big smoke of that London to rock the Barfly as part of the Liars Club's birthday bash. Check Liars' website for the full skinny.

Next up, it's a brace of gigs from our favourite Notts chancers, the Zapatistas. They're playing Bethnal Green's lovely Pleasure Unit for the second time on the 18th March, and then it's straight back up the M1 for a headlining show at Nottingham's Social on March 21st. Busy weekend! All the details for these shows are on the nights page.

The Zaps have also just recorded a bob on set of three songs, and want to share them with you lot. If you want a free copy of the CD, just shout them.

GOING THE DISTANCE

So, you're here to lig some free tickets to see Athlete at Nottingham's Rock City on Wednesday 9th March, yes? Good. Just answer this question by email: who famously couldn't be arsed to run a whole marathon in Athens this year, and so became the Shame of Our Nation? Include your phone number so we can get in touch about the tickets. Safe.

SOMETHING FOR THE TROPHY CABINET

It might interest you lot to know that it was the Emap Fanzine Awards 2005 last Tuesday, and that our boy (and editor) Nick Tebbutt was up for Fanzine Writer of the Year. Well, the chatty fuck only went and won, didn't he? I mean what were they thinking? Jesus… We're well chuffed for the little man really, but don't let him know, it'll go to his head. At least we've got a bit of silverware knocking about the office now, though!

If you're interested, the interviews Nick was judged on were the following: Mr Scruff; Soulwax; Seachange. Enjoy…

GIVING YOUR LIFE MEANING

Run hard, sports fans, because Speakers is bringing you another evening of DJ-based fun at the Social on Thursday March 3rd. Lapin, Otter and Badger will be helping you carouse like a bum with a fresh bottle of meths, playing all sorts of stuff to keep your mind occupied. Plus, it's free to get in. You love a bit of it! All the news that's fit to print lives on our nights page…

BANDITS STEAL CARGO

Yes, our little men The Zapatistas are heading down to old London town for a spot of hard rocking dancefloor fun. They're playing at Cargo in Shoreditch on Tuesday 15th February, with a bunch of other highly talented musicians, who have formed into maurauding bands. All the info you'll need to properly enjoy yourself lives right here…

NEW PUP IN THE FOREST

DJ Otter has just become a dad for the second time. Hats off, feller!

THE LADY DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH

The UK's first and finest online record label, Protest Recordings, have done good on several fronts this month. Firstly, their spiffy website has just launched, so go and look at that now (it's the link just above this set of parentheses, idiot). Secondly, and, if you're being pedantic about it, thirdly, they have two top flight live events coming up, one at 93 Feet East, and one at Electrowerkz. There's too much going on for us to bother typing it all out twice, so why not go over to our nights page to peep the details?

We know they've got good taste and booze, and we know you have good taste and strong livers, so why don't the lot of you get it on? We'll watch, naturally, but we promise not to take pictures…

YOU UNSOCIABLE BASTARDS

Well, what do you think is happening on Thursday 3rd February? I tell you now, little men, I tell you now: Speakers Push the Air is kicking off a new monthly residency at The Social. Yes, we're journeying upstairs for pissed up dancing fun on the first Thursday of every month, with procedings commencing at 10.30pm, and ending in a drunken heap of spent smiles at 2am. Bonza.

Providing the fine tune selection will be your favourite triumverate of fatuously named DJs: Lapin, Otter, and Badger. They'll be serving up a fine stew of music, from hiphop to punk, probably by way of something shonky that makes them laugh. As you all know, they've recently been dropping science with the likes of Belle and Sebastian and the Beta Band, so quality is guaranteed.

Best of all, it's entirely free to get in. Come, dance, rejoice: January is over, and the fun can really start.

WIN STUFF

Two competitions, two very simple ways to get free shit…

Go to tomorrow night's kai-zen in London for free by emailing us. Two pairs of tickets are up for grabs.

Want a copy of an Outlaws DJs set on lovingly crafted CD technology? Then let us know which outlaw Maximillian Hecker is like, according to our articles page, via email.

Easy, huh?

WE'RE BACK, WITH GOOD NEWS

Yep, we survived Christmas, but it was a close run thing… At least one Speakerette had a confrontation with some rogue bread sauce, and don't even mention fucking turkeys again, because it's just wrong. Ack. Anyway, on with the good news…

Our favourite Nottingham band, the Zapatistas, are heading back down to that London to run hard at the next instalment of the Nokia N-Gage TGR Madness Film Tour, at Electrowerkz, Islington. There's something about a snowboarding film involved, but seeing as the nearest we ever get to snow is the dry slope at Tamworth, we're more interested in the music. Here's what's going on:

The mighty fine Ladyfuzz will be show-casing their blend of edgy pop sensibilities and new-wave chic that has earned them the honour of Single of the Week on BBC 6Music. In support, you get Santa Cruz and The Dash, a brace of dashing rock bands, the one from Spain, the other from London. Your boys The Zaps bring up the rear with a textured racket which mixes influences as varied as no wave, hiphop, and indie to make angular pop for dancefloors everywhere. You can't lose on a night like that. Go to our nights page for a full listing.

Best of all, we've got lots of tickets to give away. If you want to go, just tell us where the Midlands' premier dry slope skiiing is to be had via email. In the tradition of stupid competitions, the answer is very much in the second paragraph of this entry…

STOP PRESS, STOP LAMENTATIONS

Confusions for music fans: has PJ Harvey quit live shows? According to the NME, yes. According to her semi-official fansite type thing, no: she was just misquoted by the NME. Hmm… It's probably a publicity thing, but who knows? Fingers crossed she'll play out again so we can all appreciate her wonderful music again and again and again, through binoculars, with some Kleenex.

That aside, why not go and look at Adam Park's 2004 Top 20 on Boomkat. He was asked as a contributor to this "gracefully spastic" website, as Boomkat put it. It's fair, and so is Adam's Top 20. Godspeed, dear readers, godspeed…

IT'S THE END OF THE YEAR AS WE KNOW IT (AND WE FEEL TIRED)

Yeah, bitches, it's pretty much all over for 2004, a year that saw a whole load of wonderful things happen, like Blunkett shagging a toff, or our army killing several thousand innocent civilians in a far away country despite the express wishes of over one million voters. Ah, happy times…

Still, as democracy marches inexorably onwards in godless foreign countries the world over, it's nice to know that the music this year was pretty cool. We recommend our articles page to those of you who joined us late and need to catch up. Other than that, you should look at our Best of 2004 article, in which four Speakers types witter on about, well, the best things about 2004. Hey, don't fuck with the classics, yeah?

For those of you interested in what Christmas means to all the little girls and boys across the world, take a look at all the bollocks coming out of America. Christians: be ashamed of this man. Sikhs: don't throw bricks at theatres! Atheists, and others, don't do fucked up stuff either. So there, a message of prescriptive goodwill to everyone: behave or a secular giant squid will get you.

We'll be updating the site over Xmas, but infrequently, and with no warning, so check back if you like, innit. Oh, and, as Jesus would say, a merry motherfucking Christmas, bwoy!

MORE FREENESS

For the Fabric tickets, tell us the surname of the Soulwax brothers. Easy? Email us.

For the Frank Sinatra CD, just email us. We can't be bothered setting a question, it's Friday…

HOW GOOD ARE WE?

Obviously, the simple answer is 'very good'. No prizes for that, muppets… However, if you'd like to see what someone else thinks of our 1st Birthday Bash, why not fly over to Nottingham's other ezine, LeftLion, for an entertainingly written appraisal of the whole affair. They get a bit chatty with Belle and Sebastian, the Beta Band, and even the Speakers DJs. You'll be seeing some pictures of the night to your left (DJ Mink is the one in the golfing jumper, looking chuffed after wowing the crowd with an overlong version of 'I Am The Resurrection'… oh, and the red one is of Gobsausage, just because it's a good shot).

Of course, it doesn't tell you about us all going back to their hotel room for casual chat, bubble baths, and croissants, but hey, maybe one day we'll tell you about the celebrity thrills to be had when sitting on a naff four poster bed, staring out the window at Steve Mason running around on a dangerously thin glass roof… Watch out, heat!

POP QUIZ

Here's your prize questions this time around…

For the TGR tickets, tell us the fatuous middle class name of Chris Martin's child via email.

For the Frank Sinatra album, simply tell us the name of the Antipodean pet botherer who has also recorded 'The Little Drummer Boy'. Again, use email, thank you please.

MO' F'SHIZZLE, AN' TING

We just heard about a night that we thought you should all know about. So we're going to tell you. Oh, don't look like that… It's got UK hiphop contenders Foreign Beggars playing (those of you who have been to a Speakers DJ night will recognise 'Where Did The Sun Go?' from Lapin's set: he's been rinsing it hard), as well as Fenna (featuring Yungun! Yes!), The Rosedale Electronic Chord Orchestra, The Dirty Feel, and ALX 400. It's in aid of some snowboarding video or other, but it's the music we're telling you to go for: we're still bitter that we can't afford an ironing board, let alone a brace of skis, so fuck that shit and let's dance.

So, the TGR Madness Film Tour takes place on Friday 10th December 2004, at Electrowerkz, 7 Torrens Street in London. It rruns from 10pm - 4am, and costs this much: �5 before 11pm with flyer / �7 otherwise. Yellow-bellied suckers and, we are told, those of a feeble disposition need not apply. However, any old tosser can win one of five pairs of tickets to this thrill-packed night out by emailing us and telling us who fucking loves you baby? Clue: it's us. So shut up.

Go here if that ain't enough, chumps.

QUESTIONS QUESTIONS

Right, we'll keep this short. If you want the free tickets to our Xmas Party (flyer to your left), you must email us and tell us which Scottish band shares part of their name with a Belle and Sebastian album. Easy.

If, on the other hand, you want the Frank Sinatra Christmas Collection, you must answer the following by email: Which miserable 80s type has a fixation with Nancy Sinatra? Get googling…

LOVE YOUR LOVELY EARS

Well, there's lots to do this weekend, especially if you're in Nottingham or London, and slavishly believe everything you read on this website. But what, we hear you bark like dogs, can be done with your lonely, empty Saturday evenings? Woof woof, idiots, I tell you now…

On Friday, why not check out a band we're quite excited about? The Bedford Rascals will be making their debut at a One World event on the 3rd, bringing a bit of narrative grit and acoustic vigour to a hippy event which has 'worthy' and 'hemp' written all over it. If you like your music in the great British songwriting tradition (and we mean Joe Strummer through Pete Doherty, not Donovan), come and see these young pirates play. We've heard some tapes, and it's all good. It's at the Glass Atrium in the Portland building, Nottingham University campus, starts at 7pm, and will set you back three bones.

Next up, Nottingham's top spot mash up of visual and aural artistry, Enjoy the Ride. Saturday 4th's outing features a line up of good folk, including our boys in the band, The Zapatistas (whose gig in London went well, thanks for asking), and well as performance types The Almost Human Theatre, photography from Amanda Smith, and more music from Marq and Andy. Go to their site for more details.

If you're unlucky enough to live outside Nottingham, we can't help you. Unless you live in the capital, in which case we can leaven your grimy existence with a dose of multimedia fun from the barrow boys at Lost. On the red. regualr Lost dancefloor, you've got Jeff Mills, of Axis, doing a one-off date, and another exclusive from the majestically named Marshall Jefferson (Chicago), as well as Steve Bicknell and the Lost DJs. Elsewhere in the venue, there's a special presentation of Three Ages by Buster Keaton, with a new soundtrack by Jeff Mills. This will be interspersed with DJ sets from Kim Bilir featuring exclusive film/ sound projecty stuff. Sound gut, jah? Then jet off to the Lost website, or call them on               020 7791 0402        to find out more.

More information resides on our nights page. Remember, this Saturday night's alright for fighting, but it's fucking great for dancing. Do it!

WANT TO SEE MY ETCHINGS?

As you know, the artistic community in Nottingham loves us like a marmot loves it's mother: milkily. Well, now it's time to put something back by letting you all know about Nottingham Trent's fine art course attempting to finance their degree show, as well as their charity shop cardigan habit. They're doing something music-based at Stealth on Wednesday 1st December. We're told that it's a night of musical and visual stimulation with well-known bands such as Master playing along side rising stars such as Super-Pylons and members from They Live!, with video from students.

It's important we give these budding paint bitches a good start in life because, frankly, the nation's Youth Training Schemes can't take another influx of 'professional artists', so if you like sound, sight, and pretension, get your bad ass down to Stealth, make like Saatchi, and help these struggling orphans buy their own bread.

GOING SOMEWHERE NICE?

Well, if you're down in London on Wednesday 24th November, the answer is yes. You're either going to see the Zapatistas at the Pleasure Unit on Bethnal Green Road (details found here) or you're going to Protest Recording's night at 93 Feet East, in that den of absurdly wonky iniquity, Hoxton. It features smoulderingly stylish Swedish sextet Laurel, apparently, and promises to be quite good. Not as good as the Zaps, mind…

Whip crack away! and click on all those links on order to find out the mo'fucking shizzle, chillun.

WIN Y'SEN A ROOTS MANUVA T-SHIRT

It's easy: just tell us what Roots Manuva track appeared as a live version on Ninja Tune's Xen Cuts compilation. If you know, email us here. Fastest one to the draw wins, and there ain't nothing for second place.

WHO LOVES ROOTS MANUVA?

We do, dipshits. Whether he's rhyming about cheese on toast or letting Pitman ruin one of his songs, London's finest is consistently at least as good as the GLC. To celebrate the fact that Mr Manuva is releasing some fresh stuff in the new year (or whenever, no-one tells us anything), Ninja Tune have schlepped through a limited edition download of some phat joints that didn't make the cut of the album, but are still fucking large.

And look, here's one now, and it's called Double Drat. Go and have a look. It might cost you �1, but we can't remember, it was a heavy weekend. The chance to download it ends on the 28th of November sharp, so if you're gonna do, do it fast. Eyes peeled for an exclusive Roots Manuva t-shirt competition, too. You'll have to sign up to the mailing list for that though…

WHOOP WHOOP, IT'S THE SOUND OF THE FREE SHIT!

So, you're here for a free copy of The History of Hip Hop. Well, you need to tell us which foolish hiphop head over-uses the phrase "Cold Lampin'". We can't wait to hear your stupid answers. No, really…

FUCKING DO ONE!

What das fuck is going on? Speakers is constantly being bombarded with requests for DJ sets from art shows. And, because we musical whores, we constantly agree. If you've not caught us rocking the YAH Festival, NOW, or Larger Than Life, then now's your time…

The Speakers DJs, Lapin, Mink and Badger, will be playing at Bad Behaviour's public party at the Lakeside Gallery, Nottingham. The boys will be killing it from 7pm - 10pm, and there's going to be free booze there, too. What better way to start your Thursday night?

Go to our nights page for the full details, or click the flyer to your left, if it comes up (we're playing with different links, very dull, but it gets us off…).

FREE STUFF!

You'll be looking at this as a result of your curiosity and good sense. It's your chance to win lots of free Poptones stuff, and some Libertines stuff. Carry on…

We've got four signed Poptones 7''s and ten CD singles to sling your way. The first two people to email us and answer the following question get half the swag apiece. Here it is:

Which band recently recorded a song about Pete Doherty's favourite footballer?

To get a pair of swanky Libs t-shirts, a copy of their latest single, and some king-sized Libs rizzla, you must be the first to email us with the name of said latest single. Do it.

JP RIP

As you may have heard, John Peel has passed away while on holiday in Peru. We're very sad here at Speakers, and we think you should be too. Observe a minutes silence, or, failing that, listen to something obtuse: it's what he would have wanted. If the nation doesn't mourn this, we'll know that Britain truly has gone to the fucking dogs.

FUN FUN FUN

Speakers has teamed up with the NOW Festival 2004 to bring you a pile of musical shit, erm, stuff that you can all enjoy in October. This includes DJing from the Beta Band, live hiphop mash up fucktardery with Kids in Tracksuits, and an extravaganza of balls from Death Disco and Poptones. The latter will include DJ sets and acoustic sets from the best of the new British rock scene. Woo hoo, I hear you wail, woo fucking hoo.

This is explained in exhaustive detail over on the nights page, so go over there and find out about it properly. Look to your left, and there will be some pretty pictures of the people who're playing. Ooo…

Oh, and your boy Nick got his mug in the NME's student guide as well. He's the voice of the future, and an incorrigible twat and liar to boot. Even so, well done, fucko.

BLING BLING, MOTHERFUCKERS

Because we're slack, this has taken a little of your earth whiles to get up on the site, puny humans. Anyway, it's a boss nut exclusive type download of a block rockin' Ty track from his Mercury Award losing album Upwards. We think Franz Ferdinand should hand that award over to our hiphopped-up friend, but what do we know? We didn't have the foresight to hype Glaswegian indie miserablists Snow Patrol, did we? Wankers…

That aside, here's yon download: yes, right here!

WHAT UP, DOGS.

It's been a while since we've found time to update the old homepage, but here we go… There's a bunch of new articles sitting pretty on the website, we've given away tickets to the Boxer Rebellion, and dished out a signed copy of Ty's Mercury Prize nominated album, Upwards. That's because we're all heart, motherfuckers.

Keep your eyes peeled this week for more good reading, and for more of that free shit you greedy little magpies love so much. Ting!

CRIMINY!

Yesterday we launched our Radio 4 competition, mailing all you losers with the details. Thanks to your frankly sickening lust for free stuff, the Speakers email broke down, weeping like Geoff Boycott's wife after a Lancashire win at Headingly. Well, I'm afraid to say that all of you, apart from Andy Richards, lost. Not to worry, eh?

We've also got a new thing to read, innit? Yes, it's an album review of the new Junior Boys joint, Last Exit. It involves the word 'laptronica'. Make of that what you will when you read it…

SWEET FUCKING LORD

Well, this week, we've got more reading than you can shake a stick at, or even a whole branch, or even a tree (assuming you have superhuman strength and hate our majestic arboreal friends). We have a frankly fantastic interview with Black Wire, a review of Pete Doherty's recent live outing, and a review of the Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster, My Red Cell, and the Rakes live.

There's also a welter of reviews, including the new Prodigy album, a spanky compilation from KYO, and an album from Lowfive. Singles reviews include the newest shit from the Departure, the Beastie Boys, and Death Cab for Cutie. Get reading! NOW!

IT'S STORY TIME IN THE LIBRARY

Get your read on with our latest clutch of articles. These include: an interview with Seachange, an interview with the Subways, and an interview with Sido, plus album and singles reviews. How's that for you?

We should also thank Gobsausage and the Blitters for coming up to Nottingham for July's live night. It went off really well, so if you didn't see them, find out when their next shows are, and make the effort. Head over to collylogic.com for a review of the night.

In other news, sheep: stupid ovines routinely porked by perverts and rural types? Not any more. Some sheep in Yorkshire have gone commando, having taught themselves to ninja roll over cattle grids so that they can wreak their terrible revenge on the hapless fucks of Marsden, a village described only as "being near Huddersfield". The National Sheep Association said: "Sheep are quite intelligent creatures and have more brainpower than people are willing to give them credit for". No, they aren't. If they were smart, they'd make a break for it like those pigs in Tamworth, instead of standing around looking bemused. What would Andy McNabb say? Nothing. He'd shoot them for being shit.

PAY ATTENTION, MORONS

New articles: an interview with Art Brut, reviews of all manner of good shit, and a review of J7's recent all-girl punk night. These can all be found right here.

We're DJing tonight (Monday 19th July) at the Social, which is where this month's live night will be. Get the details here.

LOVE YOUR EYES

As ever, we've brought you some more exciting reading. Why not click your little mousey wousey right here and enjoy their plentiful bounty? New stuff includes interviews with Midlake and Art Brut, and an informative tirade of firey invective from regular boarder Chestwigs. He's ranting about hiphop. Go on, give yourself an ocular hug…

THE THREE RS: READING, READING, READING

We've updated the site with a load of articles. They're listed above, but you can jet to read them all right here. So go and do it, for fuck's sake.

SPEAKERS AT THE SOCIAL

We're DJing at the Social on Monday 21st June (tonight, that is…). Yes, we know the football is on, but it's our patriotic duty to provide an alternative to sport. Come dancing instead! Woo hoo! We're playing from 7pm until 12.30am, so if you want to hear 'World in Motion', come along.

IT'S A FISH: HIPHOP HITS SPEAKERS

Well, imagine: Speakers gets all UK hiphopped up. Just a wonderful dream? No, my fine young friends, it is a hideous reality. And it goes a little something like this…

We've got chatty with Brit-hop all-star Jehst, spent time on the dog and bone with Big Dada's Infinite Livez, and, to cap it all off, talked to Tempa, Notts' first lady of hiphop, innit. We've also reviewed the latest releases from the Beastie Boys, Amon Tobin, and Taz. That's a lot of reading, but I'm sure you're up to the task.

Unfortunately, we've had to cancel this month's Speakers live night. Circumstances were, rest assured, out of our hands. If you were hanging out for Kids in Tracksuits, fear not, they'll be bringing their massive beats and dark samples to a dancefloor near you soon. We will make it so!

LOOK AROUND YOU. GO ON, JUST LOOK AROUND YOU.

Harrow, little men. We've been busy on your behalf, researching and writing a ton of articles for you. And are you grateful? Of course not. You never write, you never call, you oughta be good to your mother. Anyway, kvetching aside, we have an interview with indie stormers Razorlight, and an interview with electro animal lovers Numbers, plus a live review of Graham Coxon's solo show at the Rescue Rooms, and a bunch of record reviews for your delight and delectation. Get on it, you bad boy.

We did have a competition for some After Dark tickets, but they've been won now, so tough luck, fuckos. If we can steal some more, you'll be the first to know. Naturally, we're all going for free anyway, so it's no skin off our nose.

A PLETHORA OF THINGS FOR YOU…

The first of which is a new regular thing we'll be doing: Sounds to Hear, Things to Buy, a review column. This'll appear in the articles section, and will contain, erm, reviews of records and that. Have a look at it, you'll get the drift. This time around, Chris Boyd reviews guitar types X is Loaded and Hiding Place. Why not go and read them?

Eyes peeled for more reviews this week, with new albums from !!! and PJ Harvey as well as many more singles. You'll also be getting interviews with indie boys Razorlight, and UK hiphop hero Jehst. If you're very lucky, there'll be a couple of live reviews too, including Graham Coxon on a solo outing…

We also have some more free stuff for you. Our lovely landlords, Broadway in Nottingham, have given us some tickets for their After Dark event, on June 10th. Here's what they say about it:

"Film premieres, the best short films around, plus live dj�s, incredible vj�s, graffiti and free beer�. Hey, we�re not making this stuff up � AFTER DARK is coming to town, following a sell out stint at the ICA. Combining the ultimate mix of underground films, new music and guys doing weird things with spray paint, AFTER DARK wants to bring all this to the guys and gals of Nottingham � and you really don�t want to miss it.

Tickets available at �10/�8 concs, from the AD website or on the old dog n� bone, from Broadway�s box office 0115 952 6611"

Fascinating, no? Well, if you want a pair of free tickets to the whole thing, send us an email asking for them. Like the Razorlight tickets we gave away last week, this pair'll go to the first scrounger to email us. Get to it.